Learning to Feel Instead of Just Think

For many of us, emotions are something we’ve never truly been taught how to experience. Instead, we’ve learned to intellectualise them, to explain them as thoughts rather than allowing ourselves to feel them.

You might find yourself saying things like:
💭 “I feel like I’m not good enough.”
💭 “I feel like they don’t care about me.”
💭 “I feel like I’m failing.”

But here’s the truth… These aren’t feelings! They’re thoughts disguised as emotions—stories we tell ourselves, shaped by past experiences, fears, and beliefs.

So, what are emotions really?

At their core, e-motion-s are energy in motion—physical sensations that arise in the body before the mind assigns meaning to them.

Anger might feel like heat in your chest, sadness like heaviness in your stomach, anxiety like tightness in your throat.

But here’s the surprising part… Many people assume that emotions take a long time to process, but in reality, even some of the biggest emotions don’t last nearly as long as we fear they will. When we stop resisting and fully sit with an emotion, sometimes it moves through us in seconds—a rush of energy, a shift, a sense of relief.

When we don’t FEEL it and allow this energy to move, it gets stuck. It manifests as tension, exhaustion, stress, or even physical pain.

Why We Avoid Feeling

Many people have never been given the space to simply sit with their emotions, to observe them without judgment or the need to fix them. Instead, we learn to suppress, avoid, or rationalise them.

I understand why. We are busy, and often we fear that if we let ourselves feel fully, the emotion will take over—that we will never get back to the person we need to be.

Once, many, many moons of therapy ago, I used to casually joke that one day I would crack. That I would disappear into my emotions, only to re-emerge decades later, a wild woman living in a cave, painted blue and having stripped off all my clothes. It made sense to me then. It represented the depth of unprocessed trauma and feelings I had been carrying—the fear that if I let go of control, I would lose myself completely.

But what I learned was this: Feeling emotions does not destroy you. Resisting them does.

Emotions vs. Feelings

Many people use the words "emotions" and "feelings" interchangeably, but they are not the same thing.

Emotions are biological responses—they arise instinctively and are universal to all humans. They exist before we’re even consciously aware of them.

💭 Feelings are the personal interpretations of emotions—shaped by our thoughts, beliefs, and past experiences.

For example:
Imagine walking alone at night and hearing footsteps behind you. Fear (emotion) arises instantly—your heart races, your body tenses. Then, as soon as you realise it’s just someone walking their dog, your interpretation of that emotion (feeling) shifts from fear to relief.

This distinction matters because many of us have learned to think about emotions rather than feel them. But emotions are not meant to be trapped in thought loops—they are meant to flow through the body.

How to FEEL Instead of Just Think

🌿 Pause and Notice – Before labelling what you feel, take a moment to check in with your body. Where do you feel tension? What sensations are present?

🌿 Breathe into the Feeling – Instead of pushing it away, allow it to exist. What happens if you breathe into the discomfort instead of resisting it?

🌿 Move the Energy – Emotions don’t just disappear; they need movement. Try shaking, stretching, dancing, or even sighing deeply.

🌿 Name the Feeling, Not the Thought – Instead of saying, “I feel like I’m failing,” try “I feel disappointment” or “I feel sadness.” Naming the raw emotion allows you to process it more effectively.

🌿 Let Go of the Need to Fix It – Emotions don’t need to be solved; they need to be felt and released. When you allow them to move through you, they lose their grip.

You Are Not Your Thoughts. You Are Not Even Your Emotions.

You are the space that holds them, the observer, the experiencer.

And when you learn to feel fully—instead of suppressing or overanalysing—you reclaim a sense of freedom, presence, and self-trust.

Healing starts with giving yourself permission to feel without fear. Having been there myself, I’ve made it a core focus of my work with clients ever since.

Let’s talk about how we can work together to help you reconnect with your emotions, process them safely, and move toward healing in a way that feels right for you. 💫