The Internal Volume Dial

When you turn your volume down on pain, you also turn it down on joy too…

That might sound like a sweeping statement, but as a concept it is entirely true.

We find ourselves living in a time of quick fixes and instant gratification and consequentially the concept of allowing ourselves to feel emotional pain seems counterintuitive.

Yet, when it comes to our emotional well-being, attempting to "turn down" the volume on pain through avoidance or suppression can lead to an unexpected consequence: the dampening of all emotional experiences, joy included.

I know this to be true myself as I spent many years experiencing just this, sometimes using vices as a method to cope, and at all times feeling emotionally detached and numb, in ALL ways….

Emotional numbing is a psychological defence mechanism wherein individuals suppress or avoid feelings that are too painful or overwhelming to confront. This can manifest through various behaviours, such as substance abuse, excessive work, or constant distraction through technology, and while these coping strategies might offer temporary relief, they come at a significant cost.

When people numb themselves to avoid pain, they inadvertently dull their entire emotional spectrum entirely.

Emotions are interconnected; the brain's mechanisms that dampen pain also affect the ability to experience positive emotions like joy, love, and excitement. The volume dial for emotions does not have separate settings for different feelings; it operates universally across the emotional range.

The Science Behind Emotional Suppression

Neuroscientific research supports the theory that emotional suppression affects the brain's reward system. The amygdala, which processes emotions such as fear and pleasure, and the prefrontal cortex, which regulates these emotions, work in tandem. When we suppress negative emotions, we also inhibit the neural pathways that allow us to feel positive emotions.

Moreover, chronic suppression of emotions can lead to increased stress and anxiety. The effort required to keep emotions at bay uses significant cognitive resources, leading to us to feel mentally exhausted with decreased emotional resilience. This often results in a blunted affect across the whole of day to day life, we can laugh, we can find things funny (or sad) but there will be a general numbing to real feelings which makes use feel detached from the word around us and we might also find we struggle express a full range of emotions.

Therapy and Emotional Healing

Therapy offers a structured and supportive environment to address and process emotional pain. Rather than turning down the volume on pain, therapy encourages people to confront and work through their emotions, leading to genuine healing and emotional growth, while feeling safe to explore what often are long supressed and very painful feelings.

Identifying and Understanding Emotions: Therapy can also help you identify and understand an emotion. By naming and exploring feelings, you can gain insight into the emotional triggers and patterns. This awareness is the first step towards emotional regulation and resilience.

Developing Coping Strategies: Being given tools and techniques to cope with difficult emotions be that mindfulness, cognitive-behavioural techniques, and other therapeutic interventions you will feel more able to manage your emotional responses effectively, without resorting to suppression!

Building Emotional Resilience: Through a full therapeutic process, you can re-learn (or in many cases - especially for people who come from a traumatic childhood - learn for the first time) to tolerate and navigate emotional discomfort. This builds emotional resilience, allowing you to face life's challenges with greater confidence and stability.

Enhancing Emotional Intimacy: Therapy often includes exploring relationships and improving communication skills, as you become more in tune with emotions, you can then connect more deeply with others, allowing emotional intimacy and stronger, healthier relationships.

Why do Emotional Work?

Investing in emotional work feels scary (I know myself it is a really big deal!) and sometimes hitting yourself with speaking therapies alone can feel much too much, which is why over many years I have learned multiple techniques and practices to create a full holistic approach which allows for all round healing while not HAVING to drag through what can often feel overwhelmingly hard emotional trauma. When I say doing emotional work, it does not always mean sitting and talking in a theraputic setting, it can also mean learning new tools to allow for emotional healing, this could be through journey work, wound healing, medicine wheel work, journalling, herbal medical support, meditation, mindfulness, hypnosis, EFT tapping, breathwork, vagus nerve resetting, walking and talking therapy, nature therapy, grounding and so so much more. I truly believe there is no one size fits all technique to achieve this level of healing, a combination of things depending on your personal history will always be a better approach.

Life becomes richer and more vibrant when we allow ourselves to feel deeply.

Confronting and resolving emotional issues reduces stress, anxiety, and depression. This leads to better overall mental health and well-being.

Emotional awareness and regulation enhances interpersonal relationships, leading to more meaningful and supportive connections.

Emotional work enables you to live authentically and align your life with their values and passions. This authenticity translates to greater life satisfaction and a sense of fullfillment.

Turning down the volume on pain is not a viable solution for achieving emotional well-being. Instead, it leads to a muted existence where all emotions, including joy, are dulled. But by confronting and processing our emotions, we open ourselves to a life of richer, more meaningful experiences.

Investing in therapy is not just about alleviating pain; it is about enhancing our capacity to live fully and authentically.

If you would like to start working with me to help feel more connected and less emotionally numb, contact me today to see how we can work together.